Sisters in Christ

Stacy's Testimony Regarding the Mildly Infamous Matthew 18 Letter:

If this has nothing to do with you, please feel free to move on to another post or to another blog, as I'm sure you'll find the whole thing either shamefully sad, or tremendously petty.

It is disappointing that this account is even necessary; and I find it sounding rather petty, no matter how it is worded. However, there is an individual who has publicly reinvented the facts regarding a situation that occurred in a ladies online forum almost ten years ago. It is significant to mention that the person repeating the erroneous information had absolutely nothing to do with the entire affair.

Almost a decade ago, Stacy and her friend, Loretta, were both members of a small Yahoo group, which was moderated by two women. At some point, there was a conflict between the two moderators. In the following account, Stacy shares how she took up an offense (Proverbs 26:17) for the moderator who she and Loretta believed had been wronged. While she regrets the incident, she is troubled that the facts have been exaggerated in an attempt to vilify her. To set the record straight with the truth, and because "the one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him," (Prov. 18:17), here it is from the horse's mouth, so to speak:

"While I admit Loretta and I should have left the list quietly, we didn't. We felt badly for the wronged moderator who was a gentle spirit and seemed to us to have been taken advantage of by the owner/moderator of the list. This all took place back in the year 2000.

Trying to figure out a biblical approach to the offense, Loretta and I sent a Matthew 18 letter (a call to repentance) privately to the owner/moderator of the group. She did not receive our letter well and became very angry. In a misguided effort to bring peace (through repentance), we sent a copy of the Matthew 18 letter to every member of the list (as witnesses), which was a little over 100 email addresses.

"Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother." But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’" (Matthew 18:15,16 NKJV)

We would have posted the letter to the list in the regular way, but our posts were being moderated for obvious reasons. Again, it was a foolish decision; we should have walked away. It wasn't our group and it wasn't our conflict - until we made it so.

"He who passes by and meddles in a quarrel not his own Is like one who takes a dog by the ears." (Proverbs 26:17, NKJV)

I've grown a lot in the last ten years. I would never do something like that today, but my passionate nature has often caused me to do rash things I later regret. I had only wanted to defend my friend, but the way I handled the matter seemed to make things worse.

In 2002, I sent a private letter of apology to the owner/moderator. Though the entire incident was truthful and I believed her to be in sin (specifically in her dishonest communications with others after we left the group), I still felt convicted over the way I had handled the matter. In my heart, I had taken up an offense that wasn't really my business and had created a new conflict that was virtually impossible to remedy via the Internet.

At the time, I had truly hoped the Mt. 18 letter would bring peace, but after later reflection, I wondered in my heart if perhaps part of my motivation had also been pride - wanting to prove that I was "right." The owner/moderator wrote back saying she forgave me. I was happy to forgive her as well.

After leaving the group in 2000, Loretta and I started the Patriarchs Wives (PW) group, with just the two of us as members. The name was intended to be a "ladies version" of the men's forum my husband started in 1999, The Call of the Patriarchs. Two other ladies joined us a few days later; and we steadily grew during the weeks, months and years that followed.

We wanted our group to include godly, encouraging fellowship where everyone treated each other with respect. We felt it was important that the moderators were accountable to one another and that no one was allowed to treat others rudely. We made this clear in our charter. As I recall, it was when PW got close to 100 members (at around a year) that we started adding more moderators. We now have a team of seven moderators who have been faithfully leading our group of over 800 women for several years."

[It is significant to note that the individual who has misrepresented the McDonalds regarding the above matter, has also admitted to doing a background check on James McDonald, contacting old personal friends of the McDonald family, hunting down old debts of the LLC of which the McDonalds are members, and even interviewing past disgruntled employees of HST– all in an attempt to discredit the McDonalds’ character and ministry.

By grossly misrepresenting the facts, and hunting down only “one side” of any story from anyone who dislikes the McDonalds, this individual’s highest goal is to “expose” how “unqualified” James and Stacy are to minister to other Christians.]

Prejudicing the truth, and the good name of our neighbor...

Q. 145 - What are the sins forbidden in the ninth commandment?

A. The sins forbidden in the ninth commandment are, all prejudicing the truth, and the good name of our neighbours, as well as our own, (1 Sam. 17:28, 2 Sam. 16:3, 2 Sam. 1:9,10,15–16) especially in public judicature; (Lev. 19:15, Hab. 1:4) giving false evidence, (Prov. 19:5, Prov. 6:16,19) suborning false witnesses, (Acts 6:13) wittingly appearing and pleading for an evil cause, out-facing and overbearing the truth; (Jer. 9:3,5, Acts 24:2,5, Ps. 12:3–4, Ps. 52:1–4) passing unjust sentence, (Prov. 17:15, 1 Kings 21:9–14,10–11,13) calling evil good, and good evil; rewarding the wicked according to the work of the righteous, and the righteous according to the work of the wicked; (Isa. 5:23) forgery, (Ps. 119:69, Luke19:8, Luke 16:5–7) concealing the truth, undue silence in a just cause, (Lev. 5:1, Deut. 13:8, Acts 5:3,8–9, 2 Tim. 4:16) and holding our peace when iniquity calleth for either a reproof from ourselves, (1 Kings1:6, Lev. 19:17) or complaint to others; (Isa. 59:4) speaking the truth unseasonably, (Prov. 29:11) or maliciously to a wrong end, (1 Sam. 22:9–10, Ps. 52:1–5) or perverting it to a wrong meaning, (Ps. 56:5, John 2:19, Matt. 26:60–61) or in doubtful or equivocal expressions, to the prejudice of truth or justice; (Gen. 3:5, Gen. 26:7,9) speaking untruth, (Isa. 59:13) lying, (Lev. 19:11, Col. 3:9) slandering, (Ps. 50:20) backbiting, (James 4:11, Jer. 38:4) talebearing, (Lev. 19:16) whispering, (Rom. 1:29–30) scoffing, (Gen. 21:9, Gal. 4:29) reviling, (1 Cor. 6:10) rash, (Matt. 7:1) harsh, (Acts 28:4) and partial censuring; (Gen. 38:24, Rom. 2:1) misconstructing intentions, words, and actions; (Neh. 6:6–8, Rom. 3:8, Ps. 69:10, 1 Sam. 1:13–15, 2 Sam. 10:3) flattering, (Ps. 12:2–3) vain-glorious boasting; (2 Tim. 3:2) thinking or speaking too highly or too meanly of ourselves or others; (Luke 18:9,11, Rom. 12:16, 1 Cor. 4:6, Acts 12:22, Exod. 4:10–14) denying the gifts and graces of God; (Job 27:5,6, Job 4:6) aggravating smaller faults; (Matt. 7:3–5) hiding, excusing, or extenuating of sins, when called to a free confession; (Prov. 28:13, Prov. 30:20, Gen. 3:12–13, Jer. 2:35, 2 Kings 5:25, Gen. 4:9) unnecessary discovering of infirmities; (Gen. 9:22, Prov. 25:9–10) raising false rumors, (Exod. 23:1) receiving and countenancing evil reports, (Prov. 29:12) and stopping our ears against just defense; (Acts 7:56–57, Job 31:13–14) evil suspicion; (1 Cor. 13:5, 1 Tim. 6:4) envying or grieving at the deserved credit of any, (Numb. 11:29, Matt. 21:15) endeavoring or desiring to impair it, (Ezra 4:12–13) rejoicing in their disgrace and infamy; (Jer. 48:27) scornful contempt, (Ps. 35:15–16,21, Matt. 27:28–29) fond admiration; (Jude 16, Acts 12:22) breach of lawful promises; (Rom. 1:31, 2 Tim. 3:3) neglecting such things as are of good report, (1 Sam. 2:24) and practicing, or not avoiding ourselves, or not hindering what we can in others, such things as procure an ill name. (2 Sam. 13:12–13)

Q. 144 - What are the duties required in the ninth commandment?

A. The duties required in the ninth commandment are, the preserving and promoting of truth between man and man, (Zech. 8:16) and the good name of our neighbour, as well as our own; (3 John 12) appearing and standing for the truth; (Prov. 31:8–9) and from the heart, (Ps. 15:2) sincerely, (2 Chron. 19:9) freely, (1 Sam. 19:4–5) clearly, (Josh. 7:19) and fully, (2 Sam. 14:18–20) speaking the truth, and only the truth, in matters of judgment and justice, (Lev. 19:15, Prov. 14:5,25) and in all other things whatsoever; (2 Cor. 1:17–18, Eph. 4:25) a charitable esteem of our neighbours; (Heb. 6:9, 1 Cor. 13:7) loving, desiring, and rejoicing in their good name; (Rom 1:8, 2 John 4, 3 John 3–4) sorrowing for, (2 Cor. 2:4, 2 Cor. 12:21) and covering of their infirmities; (Prov. 17:9, 1 Pet. 4:8) freely acknowledging of their gifts and graces, (1 Cor. 1:4–5,7, 2 Tim. 1:4–5) defending their innocency; (1 Sam. 22:14) a ready receiving of a good report, (1 Cor. 13:6–7) and unwillingness to admit of an evil report, (Ps. 15:3) concerning them; discouraging tale-bearers, (Prov. 25:23) flatterers, (Prov. 26:24–25) and slanderers; (Ps. 101:5) love and care of our own good name, and defending it when need requireth; (Prov. 22:1, John 8:49) keeping of lawful promises; (Ps. 15:4) studying and practicing of whatsoever things are true, honest, lovely, and of good report. (Phil. 4:8)

The Westminster Larger Catechism : With Scripture Proofs.

Is a Daughter to be a Helpmeet to her Father?

A small group of incendiary bloggers made the ridiculous claim that Stacy believes daughters are to be "helpmeets" to their fathers. This assertion, like so many others from this particular group, is completely false.

Stacy responded to this question on her blog in August of 2007:

Stacy's Response:

Nowhere in Scripture does the Bible call a daughter her father’s helpmeet. At Creation, “The LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." (Genesis 2:18, KJV)

The wife was to be her husband’s helper and he would not be complete without her. They would need one another, but she would follow his lead as they both glorified God and took dominion together. (Genesis 1:28) The fact that she “completed” her husband refers to their oneness – a beautiful and unique relationship.

Statement of Faith

This is the Statement of Faith James and Stacy McDonald have posted on their own blogs. Though certain individuals have circulated untrue rumors regarding their beliefs, lies are best fought with the truth:

We believe in one God — Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The triune God has created man in His own image and has called him to manifest and reflect holiness through obedience to His commandments. Because man has woefully fallen in this responsibility and entered into a state of moral corruption, he has subsequently become estranged from his Creator.

Because of a profound love for His creation, God has initiated a plan of redemption which He has accomplished on behalf of His people in the realm of temporal history. The zenith of this redemption is located in the historical incarnation of God in the person of Jesus of Nazareth. We confess Jesus to be the Christ of Old Testament prophecy, being at the same time fully God and fully man. Jesus, through His substitutionary atoning death and bodily resurrection, has provided the meritorious basis of our justification, which, by God’s grace, we receive by faith alone.

Proceeding from the Father and the Son, the Holy Spirit dwells in the hearts of believers, effecting their regeneration and operating in their sanctification. The same Holy Spirit has been given to the people of God to empower them for the service of bearing witness to the kingdom of God. The Holy Spirit brings His people together to form a corporate community of believers. We believe that Christ has established a visible church which is called to live in the power of the Holy Spirit under the regulation of the authority of Holy Scripture, exercising discipline, administering the sacraments, and preaching the Gospel of Christ.

We believe that the Bible, in its entirety, is divine revelation, and we submit to the authority of Holy Scripture, acknowledging it to be inerrantly inspired by God and carrying the full weight of His authority.

We support the work of Christian organizations and institutions that confess the Lordship of Jesus Christ. We are committed to the implementation of the social and cultural implications of God’s commandments for the well-being of man and his environment. We believe our faith should be visible in concrete forms and models of personal and social behavior, in our individual lives, in our families, and in the way we seek to impact our culture for Christ. We seek to be faithful disciples of Christ, enduring in love and obedience until He comes again to consummate His kingdom.

Based on the Statement of Faith of Ligonier Ministries - used by permission

Do Working Women Blaspheme God's Name?

Using guilt by association, hyperbole, and out of context quotes, the assertion has been made that Stacy teaches that working women blaspheme God. She has answered this accusation in the following post on her blog:

"Since writing Passionate Housewives Desperate for God with my friend, Jennie, I’ve received questions as to what is meant in Titus 2 where Paul talks about God’s Word being blasphemed. They wondered if working women blaspheme God’s name. First, let me say no; from what I’ve studied in the word of God, a woman who works outside of the home does not blaspheme God’s Word by doing so."

Read the entire article HERE

Smoking Keyboards and Razor-mouthed Christians

From Stacy McDonald's Blog:

Why is it that so many Christians (many whose writings I usually appreciate) seem to think it's cool to ignore 1 Corinthians 13:1 while "proclaiming the truth" (as if love equals weakness). Truth is paramount; however, humility and love must undergird all of our words. And the good of the hearer to the glory of God must be our motive.

Malicious sarcasm, abrasive speech, and arrogant "rightness" have no place in the delivery of the Word of God, and only demonstrate prideful motives.

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal…” (1 Corinthians 13:1)

Regardless of a man’s eloquent speech, or his “right-on” blog posts, if he speaks his words without love, they fall on our ears like a rusty, out-of-tune trumpet. Instead of the music acting as a balm to our weary souls, we are assaulted by a cacophony of clanging. We run from the room with our ears covered not because music is bad, but because of the rusty trumpet that fails to communicate any sort of melody!

Perhaps, more often than not, people don’t “get” what we’re saying because we’ve been more concerned about being right than we have been about getting to the heart of the hearer. Our presentation of any truth should be immersed in the love of Christ.

Each of us must walk worthy of our calling: "With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." (Ephesians 4:2-3, NKJV)

And as we present the truth to others, including our children, we “must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.” (2 Timothy 2:24-26, NKJV)

And for the record, this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t boldly and unashamedly proclaim the truth of God’s Word. It just means that we don’t pridefully use “the truth” to destroy one another. Because if we do, we prove that the truth is not in us.

"But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes." (1 John 2:11, ESV)

This doesn't mean that if I blow it, I am not a Christian. But it does mean that if I continue to walk in a way that communicates a distinct lack of love for my brother, my sinful heart is exposed and I better repent.

And let us all avoid dissensions and quarrels about the law, and commit to firmly communicating the truth - firmly, boldly, graciously, and always, always in love.

"But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned." (Titus 3:9-11, ESV)

And as far as the Internet goes, keep in mind that unbelievers are watching. We will either hallow His name or cause it to be blasphemed among the cyber-heathen.

Remember, a soft answer turns away wrath. And if you can't find a soft answer, perhaps you should walk away. I've had to do that. I can slip into sarcasm very easily (you should see all the "great replies" that dance through my head when someone is being snippy. Thankfully, through conviction and consequence, God is teaching me to guard my tongue...and my keyboard. So, let's pray for each other because...

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;" (1 Corinthians 13:4-6)